August 3, 1913
I had the dream again, where I’m the alien named the Doctor and I’m traveling around the universe in a blue box. This time, it was with the beautiful blonde girl again… what was her name… oh yes, Rose.
We were in this bizarre place where the grass smelled of apples and there were magical flying automobiles in the sky. I remember laying with Rose and feeling such elation at her nearness, a peace that I had not allowed myself to feel before - but then the dream changed. The grass and automobiles became white cold floors and walls and Rose is falling, away from me, into some portal and I’m screaming for her, screaming her name, desperate to save her from this fate worse than death, from falling into this magical portal that leads to nothingness. My twin hearts are pounding, my voice is hoarse, my arms ache to let go and follow her into nothingness for the pain of losing her is just too much, when suddenly the dream changes again.
The white walls have become burning red fire and Rose has disappeared, but the pain grows even more. This place, this once beautiful planet, is now burning and it’s my fault, though I don’t remember why. Rose has disappeared and taken all happiness with her, leaving only aching loneliness and pain in her wake. I no longer have a buffer to keep sadness at bay.
Then I awaken and the sense of hurt and emptiness remain for a moment, as though mourning these things that I have lost. But it’s only a dream.